A Small Pause That Changes Everything

Earlier this week, I had the privilege of being the featured guest for a webinar titled Caregiving Without Compromise: Balancing Career, Family, and Self. A wonderful moderator named Meg began by asking about my own caregiving journey—for both my parents and in-laws. Then she asked what helped me process the wide range of emotions I experienced along the way.

One of the key stories I shared was how I learned to “find my space.”

At first, that looked like protecting my mornings. Before the birds—or anyone else in the house—were awake, I sat with my coffee, my journal, and a few favorite faith reflections. This quiet time helped me feel grounded. It wasn’t a new practice, but I made sure I didn’t let it slip away.

What was new was what I began doing in the evenings—about 30 minutes before my husband got home from work.

Before that shift, I’d take his call and realize I had 10 minutes until he arrived. I’d squeeze in one more email… then another task. When the garage door opened, I’d think, “What else can I finish in two minutes?” I filled every second.

And then I’d wonder why, when he walked in, I didn’t even want to talk.

Once I noticed the pattern, I created a new rhythm. Thirty minutes before he got home became my stopping point. I’d sit on the patio, read, or simply stare into space—whatever I needed that day. I gave myself a little room to breathe.

And when he came home, I was ready. Ready to connect. Ready to cook dinner. Ready for the evening.

Truthfully, the caregiving didn’t get easier. But it felt more (way more!) manageable.

Because I wasn’t just taking care of others anymore. I was taking care of me, too.  And it was this self-care that helped me have more of me to pour into the people who needed me.  A beautiful, full circle of love was created.

Instead of overwhelm and impatience.

“Pour from a full nurtured heart - Hug yourself first.”